Woops, this wasnt about how heavy it is to have people missing from my life. It's about the village that isnt missing, in spite of my sometimes off self. Im totally fine, and appreciating the friends who put up with me
I will admit, I've lost a few friends I thought would never leave my side. I'm simply not the fun loving gal I once was. Losing a child does that.
You say what you think, you want everyone protected,you cry over, literally nothing, and having a car rush towards you can set you back to August 1 like nothing. Life is different, and not necessarily in a good way.
So, I make excuses in my head as to why friends stop coming around. They're so busy I always tell myself.
But, I know in my heart I'm honestly just not a joy to have at a dinner table when I can't listen to how perfect someone's life is without the eyes welling up, while honestly being excited for the good news at the same time.
So, to those who haven't left my side. To those who continue to include us in the invitations. To those who allow me to tell stories of the past with Lexie (sorry, don't have current Lexie stories) and to dote on every detail of Josh and Jordan, I want to thank you. This journey is ever changing. I grasp on to the happy, and my village is off the charts amazing for putting up with me. I appreciate you!