Last night my friend Chris and I sat at dinner. We belong to THAT CLUB, and I needed a meeting with someone who understood the way I needed to talk. So, I called a meeting of THAT CLUB, and we sat and talked about our girls. We talked about the silliness and the beauty of our girls. She knows Lexie's former boyfriend that was over the top a teensy bit religious, and I laughed about how he may have been the one if only he'd of allowed a kiss before marriage. But, he didn't allow the kiss, and we were able to meet some phenomenal men who would steal her heart after. So the tears came and left multiple times, yet we just allowed the conversation to go on.
It felt good to have this kind of talk, so good. I've been keeping myself so busy to avoid tears, that my body needed a release. That being said, it was exhausting to the point of my coming home and being sound asleep by 7:45. I slept a solid 6 hours, sound asleep. When I woke, the floodgates opened and I went into the spare room and sat with what remains of Lexie. I took the bags of donations, and started putting them together. I needed to cry and be busy all at the same time. I needed to remind myself that this is my new world and I am entitled to fall apart, and I am entitled to demand that people listen when I say we MUST STOP blaming our problems on politicians who are a bit crazy and ill prepared to see humanity and its needs.
I put some amazing backpacks together and called Casa de Vida. The director answered and I asked if I could stop by with things. She replied, you sent chills down my body. I knew it was going to be a good day. I am going to make the world a better place just because Lexie wants me to remember her by doing so.
If you're tired of the way this world is headed, do something about it. I know that giving these pregnant girls a blanket and some shampoo isn't going to save the world, but maybe they'll pay it forward someday and do something that does. Maybe, because they are feeling loved they'll do better for their baby and raise a kind child that prevents a bullied child from feeling hopeless. Maybe, just maybe, they'll do something to make the world better, 1 person at a time.